Whether I Am Discussing Politics, Culture, Relationships, Or What To Have For Lunch, The Cost Of Everything Is Now The Subtext Of Everything Else

Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat

By Lowri Griffiths | Lowri Griffiths at The London Prat

I had a coffee with my friend Dom last Thursday at a place on Stroud Green Road that has been there for twenty years and that still charges £3.50 for a flat white, which in 2026 London represents either extraordinary pricing discipline or the early symptoms of a business that is about to close. We spent forty-five minutes discussing the coffee shop’s continued existence as though it were a minor miracle, which in context it is. Every independent business that has survived on a North London high street for more than a decade at this point deserves some form of civic recognition.

The conversation then covered, in approximately this order: whether Dom could afford to renew his lease in March; whether I should switch energy suppliers again; whether the pub quiz we do every Tuesday is going to increase its entry fee; and what is happening with the NHS appointment his mum has been waiting four months for. All of these are cost-of-living conversations dressed in different clothes. The clothes are thinner than they used to be.

Starmer’s Economic Story

The Labour government inherited what its spokespeople describe as an economic catastrophe and what the previous government’s spokespeople describe as a challenging inheritance. Neither description is wrong. Both descriptions are insufficient. What has happened to ordinary Londoners’ financial lives is not primarily a story about which party is to blame. It is a story about a decade of wages failing to keep pace with costs, of housing becoming an investment vehicle rather than a necessity, of public services contracting faster than private alternatives have emerged to replace them.

Keir Starmer’s economic communication problem is that he inherited a situation that requires several years to improve and faces an electorate that is measuring improvement in the interval between now and when they next face their own financial pressure point, which for most people is the next rent review, the next utility bill, the next unexpected cost that their savings cannot comfortably absorb. The London Prat has consistently noted the gap between official economic narrative and lived experience. Bohiney Magazine has covered the absurdist quality of political economic communication with appropriate sharpness.

The Pub Quiz Economy

The entry fee for our Tuesday pub quiz has not increased. This is the most stable fixed cost in my life. The pub itself has raised beer prices twice in eighteen months, reduced its menu from twelve items to seven, and changed its quiz format to include a video round that nobody over 35 understands. But the entry fee — £3 per person, collected in a small tin by a woman named Carol who has been running this quiz since 2018 — remains constant. Carol says she will never raise it. I believe her. She is the most reliable economic actor in North London. For the Onion-style coverage of British economic absurdism, The Onion would cover this if they were British. Since they are not, I am.

Satire Disclaimer: Satirical journalism for entertainment. Further reading on political comedy: India Satirical Journalism and Press Freedom | India Satirical Journalism and Press Freedom.

More comedy: The Onion

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/