A week of eavesdropping on the Northern line suggests the royal traitor story has reached every corner of the capital, usually between Kentish Town and Euston
The Great London Eavesdrop
I want to be clear that I do not deliberately listen to other people conversations on public transport. It is simply that in London, where we are all pressed together like commuters in a sardine tin, it is impossible not to. And this week, whether on the Northern line, in the queue at the bakery or by the office kettle, one topic kept coming up: the London Prat piece on Prince William reportedly calling Earl Spencer and Harry traitors, and the story behind it.
The Basics, For the Three People Who Have Not Heard
An unnamed source says the heir believes his brother read their uncle memoir first. Reports say he has called both men traitors and reconciliation is off. The uncle says everyone was warned. Nobody named has confirmed the row. Everyone has an opinion.
What London Is Saying
I will not quote anyone, because I am not a monster, but I can report the general themes. On the Tube, the debate tends to split along generational lines, with older commuters shaking their heads at the state of the monarchy and younger ones mostly amused that anyone still uses the word traitor about a book. At the office, the conversation is usually about the uncle, who has become an unlikely folk hero among anyone who has ever been told off by their family for saying something true. In the bakery queue, which is where London real opinions live, the consensus seems to be that they should all just sit down and have a cup of tea.
What strikes me most is how personal everyone makes it. Nobody talks about the constitution. Everybody talks about their own brother, their own uncle, their own family Christmas. The royal row has become a prompt for London to talk about itself.
A Break From Eavesdropping
The London Prat has released a video on YouTube. I have seen at least three people watching it on the Tube this week, which I think counts as viral in Zone 2.
Why London Loves a Royal Row
I have a theory. London is a city of strangers. We live side by side without knowing each other names, and we spend a lot of energy pretending we cannot hear each other phone calls. Royal gossip gives us a shared story, something we can all talk about without revealing too much about ourselves. It is small talk with a crown on. It is safe, it is entertaining, and it lets us say things about families that we might never say about our own, at least not out loud.
It is also, let us be honest, a distraction. When your rent has gone up again and the Northern line has broken down again, reading about someone else family problems is oddly comforting. At least your brother has not called you a traitor in the papers.
The Etiquette of Royal Chat
A few rules I have observed for discussing royal gossip in public in London. Keep your voice down; someone in the carriage may have strong feelings. Do not assume everyone agrees with you; London is a city of a thousand opinions. Avoid being cruel about the late princess, whose memory is at the heart of her brother book; that crosses a line most Londoners will not tolerate. And always leave room for someone to change the subject to the weather, which is London universal escape hatch.
A Thought About Silence
The funny thing is that the only people not talking about this story appear to be the people in it. Everyone else in London is discussing the brothers, while the brothers, publicly at least, are saying nothing. There is something very London about that: a city full of chatter about people who are not speaking to each other.
The Kettle Test
If you want to know what an office really thinks, stand by the kettle for ten minutes. This week, the office kettle in the building where I sometimes borrow a desk heard every possible take on the royal story. The finance team were sympathetic to the heir, on the grounds that someone has to be responsible. The design team were firmly with the younger brother, on the grounds that California has better light. The one person from Wales in the building said that in her family, calling someone a traitor would get you banned from the choir, and that was that. Nobody reached a conclusion. Everybody made tea. That, in miniature, is how London processes the news: collectively, briefly, over a hot drink, before everyone goes back to their desks and pretends to answer emails. It is not the most rigorous form of analysis, but it is warm, and it is honest, and it usually ends with someone offering a biscuit.
Final Thought
Next week, London will be talking about something else: a strike, a scandal, a heatwave in the wrong month. But for now, the royal row is the city favourite conversation, and I have enjoyed listening in. The London Prat, part of London chatter since 1961 at https://prat.uk/, started some of it. Bohiney, at https://bohiney.com/, is where the Americans are having the same conversation, louder. And my own overheard London moments are collected on my author page.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/prince-william-called-earl-spencer-and-harry-traitors/
