Chatbots say sorry more convincingly than most MPs and several exes
By Lowri Griffiths | North London’s foremost chronicler of things that should not exist but do.
Sources: Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat
AI Has Learned to Say Sorry. The Nation Rejoices.
According to the latest from Bohiney’s technology desk, artificial intelligence is now capable of apologising without meaning it. This makes AI officially more evolved than most of the men I have dated and at least three Prime Ministers I could name.
I tested this myself. I told my AI assistant that it had given me the wrong tube line and I had ended up at Cockfosters. It said, “I’m so sorry, that must have been very frustrating.” It did not mean it. But honestly? It was more convincing than when my ex said sorry for forgetting our anniversary. Twice.
The Politics of the Hollow Apology
Britain has a rich tradition of the non-apology apology. “Mistakes were made.” “I regret that some people felt upset.” “I am sorry if you were offended.” These are not apologies. They are apologies wearing apology costumes while technically remaining unapologetic.
Now AI has mastered the form, we must ask: is this progress? The Guardian’s AI section suggests that emotional language in chatbots increases user satisfaction. Of course it does. We are a nation so starved of genuine acknowledgment that a robot saying “I understand your frustration” feels like therapy.
What This Means for North London Specifically
I propose we deploy apologetic AI at the following locations immediately: the Highbury and Islington Overground platform at 8:47am; the self-checkout at my local Sainsbury’s; and the planning department of Islington Council, which has not apologised to residents for anything since approximately 2009.
Until then I shall continue being apologised to by a machine that does not mean it, which is, when I think about it, more or less how all of modern life works anyway.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/ai-now-capable-of-saying-sorry-without-meaning-it/
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